Log in

No account? Create an account
Shatter glass ceilings. [entries|friends|calendar]
The nut of the world

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Best life [12 Jun 2012|09:47pm]
I found the last poem I posted originally posted here:


2003 was quite a year. Ah, to be 20.
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Introspection [28 May 2012|11:05pm]
Even though there are only a few of my lj friends who still update their journals on a somewhat regular basis, I'm glad to continue using this. It is helpful to get my thoughts out to a smaller audience than Facebook or Twitter. Plus, I was going through some entries from years back, and am thankful to have my memory refreshed by them. Love to lj!

In other journaling news, as I was going through old boxes this weekend, I came across this poem I wrote. I needed it.


Beautiful. Strong. Real.

We all need you
You're beautiful
And you're here
Always with me
I feel it
So taken care of
So free in you
You love me
You care
Dear Lord,
Whatever you have for me
I love you for it
Life equals You.
You're just so beautiful
You're so right
No matter what
In the whole world
I'm going to have You.
I'm going to be ok
Why do you give us so much?
Half the time we odn't even realize it
Blind to your obvious gifts
We make excuses -
Why don't we want to let go?  To see?
To be free
And experience a relationship
unlike any other
You know every pore on my face
Every thought in my mind
You know my emotions better
Than I could ever realize
Through all the stereotypes
All the people waiting for me to come down
You know my truth.
Everyone else can leave me
And I'll still be strong in You.
 Keep your distance

Writer's Block: Dear God [11 Mar 2012|10:15pm]
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

"Who are you?"

A very close second is, "what do you want me to do with my life?".
20 were warned |  Keep your distance

Writer's Block: Time for change [26 Oct 2011|08:43pm]
If you could ask the leader of your country anything, what would it be?

I would ask if I could pray for him on the spot. And assuming he said yes, I would pray for him with the Holy Spirit leading my words. That would be amazing.
5 were warned |  Keep your distance

[16 Oct 2011|07:57pm]
Last Sunday, I was asked to make the announcements and give the opening prayer at church. That was an honor, and I felt it especially cool since Dr. John is pretty much always the one who does that. So I did it, it went well, I received compliments and was asked to do it again today. For some reason I got nervous as I was doing it today. I could feel myself mildly shaking and wondered what the heck, how was I perfectly calm the first time and this time I'm not.

So I don't know what is up with my nerves. I'm excited to do public speaking and ministry-related things, yet when I get nervous I can't seem to shake it.

This is a busy time... moving a few townhouses over.

1 were warned |  Keep your distance

Almost Famous [07 Jul 2011|11:51pm]
So I'm Facebook friends with the host of Must Love Cats, and I clicked the link he posted to a skit he did recently. I just tripped out when I saw that one of my facebook pictures is at 3:04 on here!! What!

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

A cat's prayer [07 Jul 2011|07:43pm]
Now I lay me down to sleep,
the queen-size bed is soft and deep.
I sleep right in the center groove.
My human can hardly move!

I’ve trapped her legs, she’s tucked in tight,
and here is where I pass the night.
No one disturbs me or dares intrude
’til morning comes and “I want food!”

I sneak up slowly to begin
my nibbles on my human’s chin.
She wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth
and my claws I will unsheath.

For the morning’s here and it’s time to play.
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord for giving me
this human person that I see.

The one who hugs me and holds me tight
And sacrifices her bed at night.

~ Author Unknown ~

I am in the process of studying to become a feline behavior consultant (as a fun extra job).
 Keep your distance

My little Boots [11 Jun 2011|02:53am]
I am typing this to document the discovery of my little Bootsie. Last Thursday, one of my co-workers first saw a kitten in a bush by the building at around 6am. Once I heard this, I went looking for him, but didn't find him. One of my other co-workers then went looking for him, meowing as she walked around. Sure enough, she got a meow back, and found him. Then she went back up to tell me and the first co-worker, and we all went down and surrounded the bush he was in, trying to get the scared, mewing kitten. I remember first seeing his eyes peering out of the bush in all their tiny beauty. He is a tuxedo cat: black with snippets of white on his face, white paws, a white bib and two large patches of white on his belly. At one point, he was distracted watching my co-worker, so I came behind him and scooped him up into my arms. I knew this was a risk, as he could go wild and try to tear me up. Yet once I held him, his crying stopped, and he was calm. I took him upstairs into the office, and people circled to marvel at him. Once I took him back to my desk, I noticed his congenital absence of a tail. He looked up at me as if to study my face and remember me. My supervisor later said that he was looking at me like he was meeting his new mom. It wasn't long before he was purring, and he fell asleep on my lap, cradled around my arm.

I took him home in an empty paper box and made a makeshift home for him in my downstairs bathroom. He quickly got accustomed to his new surroundings and was rubbing his head up against my head and fingers. I gave him a bath, and his lack of crying and lashing out was remarkable (Whiskey acts like baths are the worst kind of torture). He is the type of kitten that I would pick out of a litter at the Humane Society as the best one: he loves to cuddle and is playful, gentle and outgoing. Cuddling is his favorite thing. It's mine, too, so we make a great match. In the first day or two that I brought him home, he fell asleep on me, purring. Upon waking up and seeing where he was, the purring began again.

Whiskey took to him much better than I imagined. If you recall Meow Meow, the precious, sleek black kitty who followed me and my husband home one night, you may remember how Whiskey wanted to demolish him. But with Bootsie, Whiskey was more like an antagonistic big brother, and even motherly in the instances where he would lick Bootsie.

Hali'a enjoyed him, of course. And he was very tolerant of things such as this:

I never had a kitten before. I love their tiny meows, the extra soft pads on their paws, the kitten fluff, and watching them discover the world. Everything is new and has play potential. Bootsie is trusting of all people, but I was his safest place. Judging by his temperament, he can't be feral. My guess is he was born from a domestic cat, and once he was weaned, the people in the house figured they could get rid of him by putting him in a bush by an area where someone might see him and take him in. Maybe they thought his lack of a tail was weird. But he couldn't have escaped out of a residence and gotten in that bush by himself. I estimate he was about 6 weeks old when I got him.

There were occasions when Bootsie was cuddling with me and Whiskey would sit in the vicinity and stare at us together. My poor Whisk! He has been more cuddly with me over the past couple of days, so I'm reaping the benefits of his jealousy.

I brought Bootsie in knowing that I wasn't keeping him and I would find a good home for him. Chris doesn't want 2 cats, and I'm not going to argue with that. I am content with one kitty. One of my friends came and adopted Bootsie last Wednesday night. I miss him, but I know he is in good hands, and I will get updates on him.

Each cat who has been mine for at least a little while has taught me something about love or deepened my feelings. I better understood God's love for me through my love for Tigger. Whiskey expanded my love for cats in general. Meow Meow made me realize my heart could love two cats at the same time without favoring one. Bootsie helped me cherish Whiskey even more... and maybe Whiskey cherishes me more, too.

Funny enough, my friend who adopted Bootsie renamed him Whiskey! His friend suggested the name without even knowing about my Whiskey.

 Keep your distance

[03 May 2011|10:55pm]
I was planning on making a thoughtful journal entry today, but now it's late and bed is a more reasonable option. Today was a lovely day. Somehow, I'm 28. I pray that I'm where I should be at this point.

My b-day party is Saturday, which involves tubing down Rainbow River, a place that I love. :)
4 were warned |  Keep your distance

Cat tricks! [28 Mar 2011|06:15pm]
Here's my boy!

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

The dog days are over. [25 Mar 2011|10:15pm]
Yesterday, I found a caterpillar on the stairs at work. I put my hand in front of it, and it had no problem crawling on me. It was a beautiful life in my hand. Life is remarkable.

I don’t consider myself Republican anymore. Florida’s new tea party pandering Republican governor hit the nail in the coffin of my Republican allegiance. I have anger towards him that I never thought I’d feel for a politician. I don’t like it. But it is personal for me, as he has made state employees such as myself out to be the enemy. He’s done other ridiculous things, such as kill Florida’s dreams of a high-speed rail system (innovation? Don’t look for it in Fla) and he is trying to disband a newly formed database that would make it harder for people to abuse prescription drugs (seriously). I do like the proposed drug tests for those on welfare and expanding the school voucher system. But overall, I can’t stand him. Not that I consider myself a Democrat now. Neither party is right all of the time or even most of the time (Glenn Beck & Rush Limbaugh would beg to differ, of course). I am, however, going to stay registered as a Republican so I can vote in primaries. I’m a super voter, which is a term for someone who hasn’t missed voting in any election.

After my cow interactions at the fair plus recently watching the documentaries Supersize Me and Food, Inc., I’m going through a food overhaul. I no longer want to buy meat unless it is from free-roaming animals (nor do I want to buy much meat, anyway). I don’t want to get fast food garbage, or any garbage food with high fructose corn syrup / other corn & soybean products / sugar overkill/ nasty preservatives. I plan on shopping at farmer’s markets to buy local & responsible. There is so much good in these changes, from my own body to the lives of animals & farmers to combating over-consumption & pollution. Please watch Supersize Me & Food, Inc. With education comes change. People need to know the effects of their food consumption.

Upon writing that paragraph, I feel like a teacher. Consider those documentaries homework. ;)

I’ve found that even though my job doesn’t involve creativity, I need creative exposure. I’m talking Etsy, innovative architecture, outside-the-box ideas. I’ve got to get outside the box if I’m going to go anywhere. I need to dream, write my ideas down, and implement them. Dreaming and Doing are on two cliffs facing each other, a large expanse between them. So few people jump to Doing. So many can with the right drive.

I tried a couple of yoga classes. So far, so good. I think yoga is best as an end of the day wind down.

If anyone is on Twitter, let’s follow each other: find me at user name DecidedJoy.
13 were warned |  Keep your distance

Roll Away Your Stone [30 Nov 2010|09:13pm]
You told me that I would find a hole,
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal,
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

It seems that all my bridges have been burned,
But you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart

- part of my favorite Mumford & Sons song.

Looking for talent, depth & fantastic melodies? Check them out.
5 were warned |  Keep your distance

[11 Sep 2010|09:05am]
Speaking of (previous post), this is the 2nd most beautiful commercial I've ever seen. I might have posted it before.

Going to Rock the Universe today with Sarah & Mitchell! A nice surprise.
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Ikea [10 Sep 2010|09:59pm]
This is the most beautiful commercial I've ever seen.

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Decided Joy. [09 Sep 2010|08:25pm]
Maybe I'll paint this weekend.

I haven't painted in years.

I feel like I can potentially find the creative me again.

My supervisor gave me a list of Master Adjudicators in our office, ranked by production levels. I am #1 in the office! And one of the top in the whole state. I don't think there's an exact state #1 b/c a few of us beat each other in certain areas. But in my office, I beat everyone in all areas. Sorry if that sounds boastful, but I'm happy about this accomplishment.

I worked out on Tues, & my legs are still sore like woah.
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

[29 Aug 2010|02:32pm]
I love being at a committee meeting involving myself, my pastor, a Messianic rabbi and a businessman who are all at least twice my age, and I get asked to say the opening prayer. In some Christian circles, I wouldn't be allowed to lead any prayer, even if I was older and distinguished the way they are. Yet we are all one in Christ Jesus. There's freedom in that.

It means a lot to me.
 Keep your distance

Fun with my Whiskey. [17 Jul 2010|06:38pm]
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

It's so intense. [16 Jul 2010|08:48pm]
The double rainbow guy is my latest obsession:


Over one week worked in my new position as Master Adjudicator. Things have fit together well at work. If you recall, I had a job interview on my birthday and I felt it went really well, but I didn't get the job. I know God guides my career path and there was a good reason why. And here I am with another promotion, making more money than I would've had I gotten the job I interviewed for. God knows what He's doing.
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

HSTB [16 Jun 2010|07:46pm]
3 kittens asleep on my lap
others circle
I need a bigger lap

*In the end, I laid down so all 5 could lay on me.
6 were warned |  Keep your distance

[30 May 2010|09:24pm]
After I picked Hali'a up for church this morning, we saw a large, brown soft shell turtle in the road, about to attempt to cross Dale Mabry - one of Tampa's busiest highways. There are no ponds in the area, so I don't know how the turtle got there. When we first saw it, we were at a light, and as I contemplated rescuing it, I figured the light wouldn't stay red long enough. But I couldn't see it there, have the opportunity to protect it but instead let it get smashed in the road. So once the light turned green, I made the first u-turn to go back, get it and take it to a pond. But once we got back to where it was, it was gone (this was maybe one minute after). Thankfully, I knew someone must have gotten it, because there was no way the turtle was going to move that fast on its own.

Soon after this, one of my neighbors posted on FB about how he rescued a turtle that was about to cross Dale Mabry. He picked it up and drove it to a pond by the mall. So my neighbor of all people was the one who saved it. We are on a very small block, but we appreciate turtles.
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Knowledge / Growth [16 Apr 2010|06:19pm]
I received my 3 latest book purchases in the mail toady:




4 were warned |  Keep your distance

Blackberry pics [22 Feb 2010|08:04pm]
My cuddle love.


He has no problem falling asleep in my lap like this:

Precious babies at the Humane Society. The black one reminds me of a kitten Whiskey, and the other has striking coloring:
 Keep your distance

Tig love [18 Feb 2010|06:29pm]
My baby girl is on today's stuffonmycat.com!

Stuff On My Cat

1 were warned |  Keep your distance

Purrrrr it [13 Feb 2010|08:52pm]
Whiskey seems to have claimed my lap as his favorite napping spot- provided I'm sitting at my desk.

I went to the Humane Society after work a week ago, and they had a large basket full of cat goodies for sale- $30 for a whole bunch of toys, treats, etc. Once I saw the Furminator in there (worth the cost of the basket alone), I was sold.

Whiskey has enjoyed the bounty.

At work today:

Maybe I'll post a cubicle tour sometime. It's pretty large, and I have a window.
God gave me the best spot. :)

I might be hooked on Aveda products. I can't wait to try their Tourmaline-infused skin care.

I'm currently reading What Paul Really Said About Women. I posted an excerpt from it a while back, as it was published in my church newsletter. The book takes a look at the direct Greek translations of Paul's letters in context. The seemingly chauvinistic text is actually pro-equality? Looks like it. It's an important read.
 Keep your distance

[06 Feb 2010|07:50pm]
[ mood | Whiskey in my lap ]

I resurrected my iPod today. 1st gen nano. 4GB, paid $249 for it... crazy that now I can get a new, more awesome nano with twice the memory for $100 less.

I came across this song, which is the most beautiful tribute to a cat:

Red House Painter - "Wop-a-din-din"
Album: Old Ramon

She's got big green eyes
And a long Egyptian face
She moves across the floor
At her own pace
When I'm here in bed
She'll jump up on my chest
And when we lock eyes there's so much love
I wanna cry

She comes in near
When I scratch under her ear
And she lifts her head
When I kiss around her neck

We'll go to sleep
When she falls along my side
And two green eyes fade
To a porcelain marble white
And somehow when I sleep
She'll end up at my feet
And if I roll and kick around
I might knock her to the ground
But she'll come back anyhow

Ella es mi hijita
M's dulce que cerezas
Pura como el agua
Nariz y orejas rosas

She's my little daughter
Sweeter than cherries
Pure as water
Pink nose and ears]

The morning comes
She squints up to shield out the sun
And she'll go and lay
In the warmest dusty rays
I adore her face
She lays perfectly in place
And she'll yawn and stretch
And stare me down expressionless
And lay back down into her nest

And if someone calls
She'll race me out the hall
When she hears the phone
Then she knows I'm leaving home
She don't wanna be alone

And I know it's wrong
That I'm gone away so long
And for her it's rough
I can't be with her enough
But I'll never give her up

Ojos brillan como el sol
La amo m's que nadie
Con manchas de una vaca
M's suave que conchinita

Eyes shine like the sun
I love her more than anything
With cow pattern skin
Softer than a little piglet]

Somehow when I sleep
She'll end up at my feet
And if I roll and kick around
I might knock her to the ground
But she'll come back anyhow

 Keep your distance

[27 Dec 2009|10:00am]
I received one of the books on my Christmas wish list, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It touches on this link:


which involves testing one's subconscious biases. Interesting stuff.
 Keep your distance

Our Tree [25 Dec 2009|08:02am]

Merry Christmas!
2 were warned |  Keep your distance

My program, my class [14 Dec 2009|07:32pm]
 Keep your distance

[11 Dec 2009|06:23pm]
[ mood | :) ]

Things are looking up, up up.

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

It's official. [17 Nov 2009|10:52pm]
Tonight was the last night of class. The professor met with us individually to give feedback on our research papers, as revisions are due Dec 1st. She told me the only thing I need to do is change some things on my reference page to fit 100% APA format. As in, change some periods, commas and parenthesis around. That's it! She said my paper was well-written and I'll have an A in the class!

That will give me a 3.756 GPA in the program, which qualifies for induction in the Public Administration Honor Society next spring.

So I am very happy about this news tonight. :)
4 were warned |  Keep your distance

I made my first LOL cat! [11 Nov 2009|08:35pm]
moar funny pictures

Please vote for this! It could make the front page. :)

As fierce as it looks, Meow Meow was yawning in this pic. He is such a sweetheart.
 Keep your distance

Mmmm, spending. [24 Oct 2009|03:33pm]
4 were warned |  Keep your distance

God's perfection [18 Oct 2009|05:36pm]
[ mood | kitteh'd ]

As I went to visit the kitties at the Humane Society yesterday, I was touched by their need for love. I saw them last Sunday and I've been with them many times before. But sometimes it takes many experiences for depth to register. As I opened their cages, they wanted to be touched, rubbed, scratched, and simply close to someone. They basked in that moment they got their chance. A four month old kitten, Zorro, wrapped his arms around my neck and suckled my ear lobe, purring away. This happened both yesterday and last Sun. I just don't understand for the life of me how anyone could not want to experience the love of a pet. And, knowing that love and innocence, how anyone could not take care of their pet. You can get cats fixed for $10 at the ACT.
It's well worth the cost of saving lives.


They are so beautiful. All of them.

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Walking in Jesus [11 Sep 2009|07:58pm]

Love and miracles ♥
7 were warned |  Keep your distance

Topic of the year [23 Aug 2009|03:54pm]
I have been somewhat surprised at the number of Christian leaders who are passionately standing against the health care reform bill.

I think that if the Democrats were on the side of the two Christian hot-button topics, pro-life and anti-homosexual agenda, and the blue team was known as the one Christians flocked to, Christians would overwhelmingly support health care reform as the right thing to do. It's about taking care of people.

That is not an exclusive complaint against Christian Republicans- it is against the party loyalty mentality. Too often, people seem to take a stance based on their party, without independent thought. I wouldn't mind doing away with the Dem/Repub labels altogether.

I hear the scare tactics regarding the death panels and the issue of your life being run by a government bureaucrat.

But hey! I am a government bureaucrat, and I hope I'm not so bad. I could have gone many routes with my career. First I wanted to be self-employed, then at one point earlier in my college years I dreamed of becoming a CEO. But, you know, a career run by money and/or a heartless corporate entity isn't my thing. I want to serve the people of the place I live in; the place I love. So here I am, working for the government. Getting through the bureaucratic red tape isn't always fun, but I find public service fulfilling. I'm sorry I don't fit the incompetent stereotype. Actually, most of the people I work with do not fit into that box- really, I have found no less competence than when I worked in the private sector.

To touch on the death panels and the concept of people actually receiving less health care upon reform, I highly doubt it can be worse than it already is. Because, in a sense, we already condemn people to harm and/or death who cannot afford health care. I have experience on this subject, as I have worked for two social service agencies. At my former job, sometimes people would call me needing help in health crisis, unable to afford health care and not qualifying for Medicaid. I would refer them to go to the hospital. That is all I could do: the hospital won't turn them away, but upon knowing the patient is self-pay and lower income, chances are that patient will not get the full extent of testing/care needed. My current job involves reading medical records all day and making disability determinations. I have claimants who worked hard throughout their lives. Their doctors refer them for needed specialty care or tests, and they do not get the care they need simply because they cannot afford it. And their conditions then become worse. How can we live in such a prosperous country when bankruptcy for health care bills is not uncommon- even with health insurance? Why is it so bad to watch out for people?

I don't believe the snowball theories- "give government more oversight in health care, government will soon run your life..." We have government oversight in many areas already in order to protect us. We are still free. Plenty of other countries have government managed health care, and none of these have turned into dictatorships or imposed life surveillance due to health care policies.

The one real hurdle I find in health care reform is cost. I do not believe in spending what we don't have. So if we can substantially slash some programs, cut out waste and put health care in its place, then great. If not, I think the U.S. needs to prioritize its budget better before implementing the health care bill. We need it, but it needs to be done responsibly.
6 were warned |  Keep your distance

Cravings [14 Jun 2009|10:45am]
I'll miss you this morning, church
But I hope to talk with God in other spaces
Between sleeping late and working on my paper
And still loving Him, undoubtedly, always.
 Keep your distance

Kitty hero <3 [12 Jun 2009|07:51pm]
A mother kitty saves her kittens one by one from a burning building:

2 were warned |  Keep your distance

Dance [11 Jun 2009|06:59pm]

I like pancakes

Dreams of spring leaves

And small purring creatures
4 were warned |  Keep your distance

Yes, please. [30 May 2009|02:01pm]
Blink-182 with Fall Out Boy
The All-American Rejects

* Sunday
* 09/27/09
* 6:30 PM

Ford Amphitheatre


I just hope I can get in by working a promo at this event. I'm not paying $63 a pop for pit tickets.

Been writing a bit of poetry lately. Trying to recapture that mindset.

Working on a paper.
Talk to you later.
3 were warned |  Keep your distance

[23 May 2009|06:25pm]
These are incredible. I would love the chance to bond with these animals at such a level.

If you want more, there are a bunch of other Youtube videos on this guy. He bonds with other wild animals as well.
3 were warned |  Keep your distance

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]